62% Of All PlayStation 4s May Be Infested With Brown Recluse Spiders



playstation spiderScientist Declares: Recluse Spiders Are Attracted To Warmth and Hum

The current generation of game consoles have been in homes for almost two and a half years and now gamers are finding themselves in emergency rooms after a rash of spider bites from the deadly brown recluse.

The spider which is known for its necrotic venom will cause it’s victim’s flesh to simply rot away if the the bite is not treated.   And now it seems that there is a connection from the current generation video game consoles and spider infestations.

Over the past two years Peter Larana, an Arachnologist from Arkansas State University has been collecting data from emergency rooms all across the United States.  A survey has been given to patients who are diagnosed with a brown recluse bite to determine a correlation in environmental factors.  Some of the startling statistics include:

  • 62% owned a PlayStation 4
  • 35% owned an Xbox One
  • 70% have played a video game on a smart phone or tablet in the past 30 days
  • 84% plan to purchase a new video game over the next 12 months

“While the survey had many video game related questions on it facts are facts,” explained Peter during a Skype interview with the Gaming Free Press.  “Your chances of being killed by a brown recluse spider increase if you surround yourself with video games.”

While Peter still hasn’t determined the exact attraction of brown recluses to video games it is suspected that the warmth and hum of the game consoles, or the squalid conditions that some gamers chose to live in is a contributing factor.

0 votes