Hairspray Stocks Take Major Hit On News of Billy Mitchell Scandal

Disgraced Donkey Kong Player And Hot Sauce Baron Upsets Hairspray Industry

Florida – As news of Billy Mitchell’s scores being removed from Twin Galaxies spread, several hair spray manufacturers saw their stocks slide as much as 46% in early trading. By 12:00pm EST, Aqua Net appeared to have taken the biggest hit losing more than $820 million in value.

Eleven years ago Billy Mitchell and his hairspray became a household name after the release of the docu-drama “The King of Kong.” In the supplemental videos accompanied with the DVD release, people familiar with Mitchell’s hairspray routine reignited the popularity of using hairspray among men.

“Not since 1987 have we moved this [hairspray] much merchandise,” explained a cosmetic purchaser for Walgreens who asked to remain anonymous. “Many people would confuse Paul Mitchell hair products with Billy Mitchell – hairspray had become synonymous with that once great man.”

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