Voodoo Witch Doctor Arrested For Placing Curse On PlayStation Network



sack boyGamers to sleep well tonight after voodoo witch doctor caught placing curse on PlayStation Network

Federal authorities have captured self-proclaimed voodoo witch doctor Demetrius Shampion De La Schwartz in a wooded area near Paques Haiti.  The 59 year old witch doctor is accused of placing a “curse” on the PlayStation Network which had resulted in recent outages affecting millions of gamers.

In cooperation with Haiti officials a team of U.S. investigators tracked Schwartz to a small hut where he allegedly would place curses on people, places, or things for a price.  A laptop recovered at the crime scene was believed to have evidence of bit-coin and PayPal transactions from as far away as Singapore.

The exact nature of Schwartz crimes is not fully understood but there was apparently enough evidence to issue a warrant for his arrest.  Neighbors say Schwartz was a well known and respected witch doctor who used his powers only for good.  Leaked photographs from inside Schwartz’s hut showed a toy Sackboy – Sony PlayStation’s mascot – with hundreds of push-pins pressed into it’s head, body, and limbs.

It is believed that Schwartz placed the curse on the PlayStation Network after being banned for using the PSN ID “ilikedicks”.

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