Your Gaming Horoscope

astrologyThe Gaming Free Press presents this week’s horoscopes (UPDATED WEEKLY!):

Aquarius January 20 – February 18 Don’t purchase any disc based games this week unless you verify the game is in the case first – you’ll regret it otherwise.

Pisces February 19 – March 20 Someone close to you wants to buy you something nice! Let them splurge on a current generation console!

Aries March 21 – April 19 Don’t borrow games from your friends this week. They will be stolen from you.

Taurus April 20 – May 20 Good news, a sequel to your favorite game will be announced soon!

Gemini May 21 – June 20 A rash of robberies will occur in your neighborhood this week. Your computer and consoles will be a victim if you’re not cautious.

Cancer June 21 – July 22 Start making plans to purchase a new, large, flat screen TV. You’ll understand why when it happens.

Leo July 23 – August 22 Don’t offer beverages to visitors this week, one will use a game disc as a coaster.

Virgo August 23 – September 22 Someone will be selling a gaming item you want on Craigslist this week.

Libra September 23 – October 22 When you encounter an arcade machine this week, avoid the temptation to play it. It will eat your money.

Scorpio October 23 – November 21 Don’t waste your time with trophy or achievement hunting this week. You won’t make any significant progress.

Sagittarius November 22 – December 21 Turn your phone off when you play online this week, or risk being interrupted constantly.

Capricorn December 22 – January 19 Your favorite free-to-play game might be spying on you; consider uninstalling it and buying the full version instead.