Your Gaming Horoscope

astrologyThe Gaming Free Press presents this week’s horoscopes (UPDATED WEEKLY!):

Aquarius January 20 – February 18

Pisces February 19 – March 20 Now is not the time to play video games when you should be cleaning your home. Expect unexpected visitors this week.

Aries March 21 – April 19 Improve your social life by inviting a neighbor, co-worker, or fellow student over to play video games.

Taurus April 20 – May 20 Keep pets, and drinks away from your controllers as a bad accident could occur this week.

Gemini May 21 – June 20 Consider a trip to Gamestop this week, you’ll find a game you forgot you wanted.

Cancer June 21 – July 22 Your favorite mobile device might seem broken this week, don’t worry, just charge it over night and it will be fine.

Leo July 23 – August 22 Buy a bag of rice the next time you’re at the store; your phone has a date with the toilet.

Virgo August 23 – September 22 An old game in your collection is worth more money than you can even imagine.

Libra September 23 – October 22 Don’t purchase any disc based games this week unless you verify the game is in the case first – you’ll regret it otherwise.

Scorpio October 23 – November 21 Someone close to you wants to buy you something nice! Let them splurge on a current generation console!

Sagittarius November 22 – December 21 Don’t borrow games from your friends this week. They will be stolen from you.

Capricorn December 22 – January 19 Good news, a sequel to your favorite game will be announced soon!