Your Gaming Horoscope

astrologyThe Gaming Free Press presents this week’s horoscopes (UPDATED WEEKLY!):

Aquarius January 20 – February 18 Don’t waste your time with trophy or achievement hunting this week. You won’t make any significant progress.

Pisces February 19 – March 20 Turn your phone off when you play online this week, or risk being interrupted constantly.

Aries March 21 – April 19 Your favorite free-to-play game might be spying on you; consider uninstalling it and buying the full version instead.

Taurus April 20 – May 20 From an unexpected source you will receive a WiiU soon.

Gemini May 21 – June 20 Avoid the temptation to purchase anything online this week as you might be double billed.

Cancer June 21 – July 22 Consider buying a long RPG soon, you’ll want it the next time you’re home sick.

Leo July 23 – August 22 Your gaming skills are waning; consider buying vitamins the next time you go shopping.

Virgo August 23 – September 22 The plastic wrapper to the last game you bought is currently floating in the ocean. Next time please consider recycling.

Libra September 23 – October 22 You will receive a friend request from an old forgotten friend this week.

Scorpio October 23 – November 21 Your vision is impacting your ability to game. Get an eye exam as soon as possible.

Sagittarius November 22 – December 21 Consider resetting your Online passwords as someone is likely trying to compromise you.

Capricorn December 22 – January 19 Purchasing an Xbox One now, will bring frustration later.