Your Gaming Horoscope

astrologyThe Gaming Free Press presents this week’s horoscopes (UPDATED WEEKLY!):

Aquarius January 20 – February 18 Your favorite mobile device might seem broken this week, don’t worry, just charge it over night and it will be fine.

Pisces February 19 – March 20 Buy a bag of rice the next time you’re at the store; your phone has a date with the toilet.

Aries March 21 – April 19 An old game in your collection is worth more money than you can even imagine.

Taurus April 20 – May 20 Don’t purchase any disc based games this week unless you verify the game is in the case first – you’ll regret it otherwise.

Gemini May 21 – June 20 Someone close to you wants to buy you something nice! Let them splurge on a current generation console!

Cancer June 21 – July 22 Don’t borrow games from your friends this week. They will be stolen from you.

Leo July 23 – August 22 Good news, a sequel to your favorite game will be announced soon!

Virgo August 23 – September 22 A rash of robberies will occur in your neighborhood this week. Your computer and consoles will be a victim if you’re not cautious.

Libra September 23 – October 22 Start making plans to purchase a new, large, flat screen TV. You’ll understand why when it happens.

Scorpio October 23 – November 21 Don’t offer beverages to visitors this week, one will use a game disc as a coaster.

Sagittarius November 22 – December 21 Someone will be selling a gaming item you want on Craigslist this week.

Capricorn December 22 – January 19 When you encounter an arcade machine this week, avoid the temptation to play it. It will eat your money.